by Norman

Digital vs. Offline: When Simple Just isn't Enough

Two weeks of no Muay Thai classes, bruises, or pain.

I can get used to this.

Due to both Christmas and New Years falling on the weekend, four of my Muay Thai classes were cancelled.

I can get used to this. But getting used to something, as you can imagine, is not always a good thing.

While working at my desk, I wasn't certain if I was spelling a word correctly. Surprisingly, I thought about the dictionary first but found myself hesitating. Certainly, it would be quicker to open my armoire door and take out a small dictionary, but using a dictionary seemed so... outdated. So I stood in front of my armoire, actually contemplating whether or not to use the dictionary or boot up my laptop and Google the word.

Pathetic I admit. But it took me a good minute to decide to opt for the dictionary.

What do you think? Are we too tethered to the digital universe, or is this simply an evolution in humanity that should be accepted?

01.10.11

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by Norman

2010: What Didn't Happen

2010 in Review. New Year Resolutions. 2011 Predictions. The blogosphere is inundated with blogs exploring these topics.

But I prefer to talk about what didn't happen last year and my proposed solutions to fix things that need fixin'. Hopefully, some of my solutions might help you out, too.

What Didn't Happen

I didn't get laid six times. That was the goal. Six fucking times isn't asking for much. Of course, there are some "haters" who might say that I need to get out more or what the hell do I think Manhunt is for?

Solution

Decide on the male demographics that like me and that I find attractive. That may sound silly, but--though insufferably cute-- I am a type. Going to the gym one additional day during the week at different times will also bring new opportunities. I've noticed that when I change up my routine at the gym, I see different guys. Some of them are cute. Others like to look at my dick.

What Didn't Happen

My blog did not rake in thousands of dollars. Not even two bucks. And what the fuck happened to the hundreds and hundreds of people that were supposed to visiting my website every week?

Solution

SEO (Search Engine Optimization) the landing page for my next startup. No worries; I'm not gutting Queers on the Verge, but I am building the infrastructure for my next startup. I've learned a lot about new media and marketing over the past year through blogs, podcasts, and research-- and I'm going to make certain that my next website's landing page is multi-media and has actions words and buttons.

Fuck 2010. This new decade, let's kick some ass.

Resources

Smart Passive Income (podcast)

01.03.11

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Photo By: Don Hankins

Christmas Dinner Parties

The last time that I wore my first pair of Muay Thai boxing shorts, I fell hard on my ass. It was the kind of fall that made everyone stop throwing punches and kicks and ask me, "Are you alright?"

"He's alright," Sadist Muay Thai instructor growled. "He has plenty of padding."

I wasn't quite certain if he was referring to the boxing gloves or my butt since one could argue that I have plenty of padding on both.

I felt equally as embarrassed at last night's Christmas dinner party when a friend mentioned that we had known each other for ten years. Fortunately, he didn't take it the wrong way when I winced in pain before immediately correcting him that it has not, in fact, been ten years. Seven.

So what's wrong with knowing someone for ten years?
On the surface... nothing. But when you only see said friend pretty much only once a year at an annual Christmas party-- and that friend's mustache is getting whiter and his belly rounder... yes, I do see a problem.

I see the same faces every year at this time, and these faces are getting more and more saggy, which also means that I am getting older, too. And who, honestly, wants to be reminded of that?

Next Christmas... wouldn't it be cool if you could do something different? Be someone different-- or at least be with someone a little different... or at least with someone a little younger?

12.20.10

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Straight Gay Vampires: Ouch!

I was late to Muay Thai class.

Again.

I had missed jumping rope (no loss there) and everyone else was stretching on blue mats. Sadist Muay Thai Instructor gave me an acknowledging glare then ignored me.

And I knew... tonight was going to be rough. But I resolved not to complain and just take the abuse.

Which started with the warm-ups. Apparently, there's a way that you can sit down with your legs crossed and then immediately stand back up. And everybody, also apparently, can do it but me.

I suffered through about two minutes of failing at that, and soon I found myself doing round house kicks on the punching bag.

"Stop shaking your shoulders," Sadist Muay Thai Instructor told me while shaking my shoulders to demonstrate what I was allegedly doing during my kicks.

Training got progressively worse while I got more and more tired. But I didn't complain. I just ignored the pain.

Earlier, I received a bulk Happy Holidays email from an old acquaintance from university. In it there was a link to his latest movie. A gay vampire movie.

Why would a married-never-cheated-on-his-wife kind of father make a gay vampire movie starring himself and some other straight guys?

I can forgive him for the lousy dialogue, lackluster plot, and bad acting, but should I let him know that I found the movie stereotypical and offensive?

12.13.10

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Survival of the Fittest

"Do you want it easy, medium, or hard?" Sadist Muay Thai Instructor asks us while bending over for the paddles.

"Hard," I say.

Nora's dark goal eyes give me her usual you fucking idiot look, but I just smile back. We're in a stretch where we try to touch our chests to our knees. Not comfortable.

To my credit, though, I can do it. I also noticed that I'm getting better at jumping rope. How the hell does one get better at jump rope, you might wonder... a better question might be how can a person suck at jumping rope-- but I did. For many, many months.

There were only three of us taking today. Two females. One gay. We paired up. Sadist Muay Thai Instructor looked down at me from his six-plus feet. The dark brown eyes and scowl signaled that I was, in fact, about to get it-- hard. In a non-porno way.

First legs blocks. The man has some big-ass feet (or maybe it just feels that way), so I had to get my epileptic leg shield up faster and faster.

Then kicks to the left shoulder. Me first. I missed, almost hitting his chin. His look told me that I better be glad that it didn't connect. We exchanged kicks to the shoulder, his getting harder as he looked me firmly in the eye. So I started kicking him harder and harder. So he stepped it up.

"Uncle," I said.

Satiated, Sadist Muay Thai Instructor eased up.

And maybe the IRS will ease up too now that I sent them that check...

12.06.10

Photos8

Will Learning Stamina Make You Better in Bed?

President Obama says he's never done it, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says that she would prefer not to do it. But neither of them has stopped the Transportation Administration Authority (TSA) from continuing their policy of full-body pat-downs.

"Stamina," Sadist Muay Thai Instructor tells us. "You've got to have stamina. You can't just stop in the middle of a fight and have a cigarette."

Sadist takes a languid puff on an imaginary cigarette to drive home his point, but his gestures strike me as a little effeminate, but I'm certainly not stupid enough to mention it that him.

But the man has a point.

And I find myself wondering... will learning stamina in Muay Thai also give me super human stamina in bed-- on the disgustingly rare occasion that I do get laid?

I could've used some stamina when I was at a straight party last night and was talking to an Israeli woman. I think I managed to keep the scorn out of my eyes when she said that everyone should enlist and serve their country. But I simply had to get away from this woman when she tried making the case that Christina Aguilera naturally had to be a good actress because she used to be a Mouseketeer.

Stamina.

Well, when it comes to reaching for my dreams I certainly have plenty of stamina and/or an abusive attraction to failure. I'm in it for the long haul, as they say. And when it comes to your dreams, I hope that you have enough stamina, too. We can still win this.

What would you like more stamina for?

11.29.10

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New Airport Pat-downs: Sign Me Up!

President Obama says he's never done it, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says that she would prefer not to do it. But neither of them has stopped the Transportation Administration Authority (TSA) from continuing their policy of full-body pat-downs.

According to the Los Angeles Times' amazing second-hand reporting, TSA's John Pistole is invoking the terrorists-want-to-take-American-lives routine. Don't ask me who John Pistole is since cash-strapped LA Times didn't bother mentioning his title in the article.

What's the big deal, and why is the American Civil Liberties Union getting that panties in a knot over this? Well, panties (and other assorted underwear) now receives special attention from airport security.

Apparently, the TSA recently started more aggressive pat-downs. They're even checking the groin and breasts for signs of weapons and explosives on some travelers.

Personally, these new procedures don't bother me-- IF I get to choose some hunky security guard with a body from Colt Studios. And since I really have no breasts to speak of, a butt pat-down would ensure my travel security and equal rights.

Every one of us travelers should get to choose, who gets to pat us down. Sort of like window shopping in Amsterdam for prostitutes. Quite civilized and so much more social than those full-body scanners where security has all of the fun seeing what's beneath your clothes.

What do you think? Watch the viral video of a man refusing...

Additional TSA Friscky Reporting:

On the Media

11.22.10

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NYT Online Best Seller List

"You're doing quite well."

Words that I never expected to hear from Sadist Muay Thai Instructor.

I told him that he was being nice, and he responded by telling me not to be a putz.

Putz? Didn't people stop using that word back in the fifties?

Didn't the New York Times stop being relevant back in the nineties? Yet here they are, announcing that they have launched an online NYT Best Seller List.

Great news for e-book writers... or is it?

The Times is trying to stay relevant by moving more and more online. So far... its pay-wall attempts don't seem to be smashing any records. And, personally, I'd take more note of a book that was mentioned on Oprah's Book of the Month Club even though I haven't watched her show in over a decade.

According to Janet Elder, one of the editors at the Times, they have had their eyes on e-book sales since ebooks began.

Bullshit.

The NYT was probably hoping that ebooks would fail just like every other print publisher. And even though they are starting to "embrace" the digital media, they are not starting an online best seller list to give more value to their declining readership. They are trying to stay relevant.

As a new or ebook author, landing on the NYT's Online Best Seller List certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. But I would argue that Amazon Best Seller Lists and social media friend recommendations are far more relevant.

My thanks to P& F for writing about this and too Best Sell Books for tweeting about it.

11.14.10

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"So how's that going to work? Two bottoms."

I don't think that Sadist Muay Thai Instructor was deliberately being mean or flippant when he asked this. He even seemed slightly amused when I confessed that I had been hitting on one of his clients.

"Hey, I can be versatile," I said, momentarily stopping shadow boxing.

Sadist Muay Thai Instructor's eyes remained on this morning's client, a tall brother the color of a black diamond. "That usually means bottom."

Several hours later. His words are still pissing me off.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of men who are adamant about being an exclusive bottom or top, but there are plenty of straight boys who have said the same thing and changed their minds when enough green incentive is squeezed into the crack of their tight little asses. And more power to them.

Why can't a guy flip-flop? Politicians and gay porn actors do it all the time. And wouldn't it fit in with the Kinsey Scale? To be honest, I'm getting hard just thinking about the possibilities. What about you, dear reader? Do you think it's either one way or the other: top or bottom?

11.08.10

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